Tadah! I am finally on the train back to Newcastle, my sort of hometown. Although it isn’t where I was born I’ve spent the majority of my life here (physically at least, my mind has a habit of wandering elsewhere) and it is where my family are. Right now I’m typing whilst looking out of the window at all of the greens (I love the greens) which is quite a lovely thing about not needing to looking at the keys and to some extent not being too concerned about which letters end up on the screen, as you may have guessed from reading my posts!
So the things that I am thinking about that I might write about. Well I’ve had various thoughts and thinkings (I think these are like thoughts but perhaps more active and still happening but maybe less conscious because they’re ticking away on a smaller scale, as suggested by the ‘i’ vowel which is kind of a littler sound than the ‘ough’ in the middle of thought, hope that makes sense, if not that’ entirely fair enough, it’s all a bit bonkers isn’t it). One of them was just about the colours. Colours are just great and the greens are particularly exciting as they’re just so diverse and have so many different qualities of life and vitality. The dark greens have a sort of wise depth whilst lighter greens have a different sprightliness which is just as lively. Upon reflecting on the last sentence I realise this probably actually just sounds quite silly and ridiculous and why would anyone care about what I see in some different shades of green that I have seen out the train window but I suppose if this is the case you are perfectly at liberty to stop reading. Unless of course you are being forced for some reason to read this which is both an exciting and terrifying thought. I can only imagine that one would be forced to read something without having any option of not reading as a form of punishment or torture in which case my writing has been deemed torturous to read or at least causing some sort of pain to the point of it being a means of punishment which is would be quite a negative thing for my writing to be. On the other hand it would mean that my writing was actually doing something and had been deemed powerful or effective, even if for entirely unintended reasons. It could also be exciting as there is naturally a certain element of flattery or something a bit, actually quite a lot, deeper than that (cannot think of the word!) in that people are reading what you have written and that it has been spread and shared.
So, I suppose I could say something really cheesy about this being both the start and end of a metaphorical and literal journey but I’m sure you can work that out for yourself so I’ll spare you the pong of the lovechild of stilton and cheddar. Suffice to say, wow, what a year. Slightly terrifying, mainly AMAZING to think of everything that has happening, the stuff I’ve learnt, the people I’ve met, the number postcards I’ve written, alpacas I’ve googled and people I’ve probably mortally offended. I remember on my very first day arriving in Oxford as a student I was pretty scared and having been feeling ok up to that point, when I walked into college I became very frightened. I suddenly was embarrassed of myself, of everything. I even had a teenager moment and stropped at my parents under my breath to ‘STOP TALKING’ because I just felt like I was wrong in this environment and I was being judged and it was all so scary. And then we were supposed to be having an enjoyable pub tea and they were blummin well out of the food that I wanted and it was all DISASTOROUS! And then I tried to be super friendly and then a housemate told other people in college that ‘I’d had a different boy back every night’ FOR TEA AND BISCUITS BECAUSE WE DON’T ALL LIKE CLUBBING AND I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY AND HAD DIFFERENT GIRLS BACK EVERY NIGHT TOO and again everything was quite overwhelming. But soon it cooled down, before heating up in different places again, of course, and now I’m on the train back- a fresher no more, but hopefully not past my ‘best before’ date! And on that note I’ll leave it. I’m sure I’ll write something else about starting uni or something soonish but for now that’ll do and I’m sure you get the picture, or which the main message is survival followed by growth in so many areas! Although there may be a development of mould in some areas, we all make mistakes, I reckon most if it will bear good, delicious, and pretty damn unique fruit.
(of the beginning!)