Time to Kill or Time to Live?

I am now SUCH a free agent and now I’m a free agent WITH tissues! Alleluia! I’m currently sitting in Hyde Park in the sense that as I am writing this I am in Hyde Park but when I post this and when you are reading this I will probably not be in Hyde Park, but you never know! Well you might do but that would rely on you having a security system either constantly monitoring the contents of Hyde Park or my personal whereabouts. 
The phrase ‘time to kill’ is quite interesting. I’ve realised that a much better approach/attitude/solution is using it as time to LIVE. A much more exciting thought, don’t you think? So right now I’m trying to feel every bit of the wind against my skin and follow every blowing leaf that it spins. Naturally this is impossible but it is one of those impossible things that makes you grin and giggle in delight at the abundance of world around you rather than weep and rage in despair at the pressure on and around you and the people you love. 
So how did I win this time to live? Well, exams have finished for me, I’ve packed most of my stuff up, had my induction day for summer job and now I have a sense of liberation and a week’s accommodation left in Oxford! More specifically I have left the house of a kind friend and his family who had me to stay last night (it was lovely) and I am going to be visiting another friend this afternoon. I have won some spacious time in between then as by some turn of fate (or handle) her front door has broken. It is currently being repaired, fear not!, but until such a time at which it is fix-ed I cannot pass the threshold! Hence my exploration of places and possibilities with my travelcard! As you can tell, right now I am not directly exploring but writing but I wanted to do this, I had thoughts in my head which had some words and I wanted to lay those words down, or rather out. Ideally I would have some form of Internet access so I could look up ‘what do I want to do in London these two hours?’ but I’m not too concerned. I guess by always searching for something better we can stress ourselves out in the process and miss the goodness already around us. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t aspire and strive for better more generally, eg world peace, cessation of poverty, universal education etc but on a smaller scale, perhaps specifically when we think we have ‘time to kill’ we reap more by just looking right around us, not assuming that the grass will always be greener, and see what we can live in this time than what we can kill. Or indeed just killing the time by spending it just shopping around, or worse. Not to say, for example, that it isn’t worth looking up walking routes that can save you bus fares and the environment exhaust fumes but that doing these kind if things we are at liberty to live it. Look at the street names, be amused, explore! 
I dunno, just some thoughts I can have now I’m not running around in my head screaming because I have do much exam prep to do and have been blessed with some space and am trying to win the life out of it. 
Have a lovely day!

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