Pursuit of Perfection and all the books: My dilemma of the day.

I am currently supposed to be writing an essay as part of what is probably my favourite section of this course, nicknamed ‘issues’. I would sum it up as looking at the assumed and accumulated ideas which have piled up in our study of ‘western music’. What is a work? Why is gender and sexuality relevant? Has the history of classical music come to an end? and so on…

I love the whole process of really sieving through arguments and trying to get to the bottom of how certain words have come to be used and the meanings they have gained and problematising various aspects of musicology. However, because I find it so fascinating I simply don’t know where to start and I just feel overwhelmed! 

I’ve done so much reading but there is so much more reading I could do and I could just go on forever and I know I can’t and I know I just need to write!

It’s at these moments when I sometimes just want to lie on the floor or jump on my bed singing along to some random music, pretending to be Nina Simone, Perry Como or Regina Spektor or someone and soak up all the music. However, this won’t get the work done, and really I do want to get the work done because it is fascinating. I think the plan of action will have to be to blast out some radically cheery music to kick myself up the rear end and into action to remind me that music is amazing, and hopefully through doing this kind of work I’ll be able to develop the skills which will enable me to bring music to as many people as possible.

I think that is what I need to do.

Essentially, I need to dance and sing like an idiot until I realise it doesn’t matter if my essay isn’t a Meisterwerk, and hoy some ideas on the paper because I do love it! The books are good, but I’ve already read a lot of them-time to trust myself! Even if the essay isn’t great, my dancing and singing will be worse, and on that note I’ll give it a go.


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